Just a thought

I'm a rushing, chugga-chugga-choo-choo, train headed down the wrong tracks...

I'm a salmon trying so desperately to swim upstream...

I'm a lost child in a sea of people at the street fair...

I'm a wandering soul, searching, traveling the world over...

I'm a speeding car, driving down the wrong side of the highway...

I'm an ignorant tourist in a foreign land...

I'm a pocket full of quarters when the machine only takes dollar bills...

So what makes you wonder why I don't fit in?

confession

It has occurred to me that things worth waiting for can be painful.

Sometimes they aren't always what you think.

Occasionally, they really aren't what you should have had in the first place.

For the first time in a long while, I hurt.
I ache, like heartache.
I mean, you have your normal pride-ache and ego-ache... but, I haven't let myself get close to anyone for fear of entanglements of the heart.

This one snuck up on me.

Heck, I didn't even realize how I truly felt before it was really too late.
I couldn't bring myself to say anything, never seemed like the right time.
Or maybe that was God's way of telling me it isn't right or isn't what's right, right now.

Regardless, it aches. I had forgotten what it is like to feel that.
I would prefer to forget and never feel it again.

Maybe it's what was planned so that I can remember that others feel this too...

Maybe on the account of my actions. Maybe not.

It could be a sore reminder that I have a heart. Bitter - it is. Yet still requires care and feeding.

But, regardless of my pondering, I know I'll do what I do best.

I'll bury it... Hide it... Patch it... Try my best to forget it...

Try even harder to ensure it doesn't happen again.

Things..

I have come to the conclusion that I do not like myself...

I do not like the way I let people come into my life and take control. I have once again let that happen after I vowed not to let it happened again.

I've heard it's a personality trait... but I'm not down with that. There is no reason some other human being needs to control my life.. unknowing or not.

It's time for me to find my own life or create it...

I've found that there is nothing better than a hot summer day or friends/family that accept you for what you are and what you aren't.

Nothing better than being out in the country, big trucks, fast cars, family and feeling like you have accomplished something for the day.

I'm sure there is nothing better than phone calls/texts/messages/pictures from your family/nieces/nephews to brighten the day.

Appreciating the small things today.

on the fly

My lips are sealed.

I swear, I won't say a word.

Run away with me and not a peep will be heard.

What we did can't be undone and none will be the wiser.

So, let's go away and play all day and forget we were....

Shhhhhhh....

Just Thinkin'

There's only so much you can do before you make yourself turn blue.

Take a breath.

Open wide; your heart, your mind and step aside.

What you can do is never enough for those who look on and simply judge.

So, go on now.

Live.

Don't worry about what other people give.

Yeah, Yeah....

Some say.....

But, I know....

It's just the same old love song.....

no words

Pathetic, useless, worn down & torn,

Please tell me the reason I was born.



This hell I've created

has me suffocated.



Guess it's time I open my eyes for a change.