....and here it is....

This isn’t a suicide note, resignation letter or a short biography… It’s just a little tale of a young (yes, I’m admitting I’m young) girl’s struggle and some brilliant realizations about life and the people in it.

I have made a few friends in the past two years I’ve been here. Some have already moved on, others are on their way to better places and a few are still hanging around. But, there is one friend that I had before I moved here and we kind of lost touch. Over the course of some friendships here, I realized it was that friendship which I had let slide that really would have been a benefit to me the most. One thing that I had to learn the hard way (this seems to be a common trend with me) is that not everyone is going to be a good influence/friend. Yes, the most common sense thing since the world began… BUT… some of us (like me) tend to think that their own influence would out weight the bad influence around. Sometimes, that is the case… and others it’s not. With that said, I have a friend or two whom I have learned that I cannot, will not and do not like the influence they have on me. At first it seemed okay. Then, I found myself doing things that I don’t agree with and started to think that they were okay to do. I had some heartache, pride-ache and headaches. But, I now realize what on earth I was doing. I don’t want to and won’t let it happen again.

All in all, I have to be extremely thankful for a loving family and the world’s greatest roommates (that includes all of them I’ve had since I’ve moved up here). They have helped me to see what exactly I’m missing out on, and what exactly I’m not! J I’m thankful for their faithful lives and for their accepting of my wayward experiments and journeys. There are not words to express what each one of you has meant to me and done for me by just being there and not judging what I’ve done. Just being there, listening to me rant, watching me hibernate in my room and the greatest unspoken help… prayer. I know most of us would not be where we are right now if it wasn’t for those who have been faithful “on their knees.” Thank you.

That friend that I lost touch with… You all know who that is… Our only true and everlasting friend, Jesus. I just hope that this peace and these satisfying realizations won’t pass as another phase in my life, but start a new way of life… again. We all know every day is a struggle and the Lord knows I still have a few things to work through, a few people to distance, and a friendship to feed. But, I know where my strength to face those things comes from. Here’s to diligently seeking that daily.