This is to "those things" no matter how little or how large that change us for the better or worse.
Empty, alone, broken, unhinged.
Completed some things I never should have done.
Scared for myself and what is to come,
Knowing my actions will end up on the menu
Probably under “appetizers, main entrees, regrets and never should-have-beens”
All in different sizes to quench any appetite for destruction
Wanting to turn back and change it all but knowing it wouldn’t be worth it.
Trying to learn and ask forgiveness of what I am ashamed to have done.
Wishing I could forget and hoping it goes unnoticed..
I sit here and live.
12.30.2008
12.17.2008
My Little Gecko's Return
I'm trying desperately to ignore the fact that it's past my time to get up when suddenely someone is rapping on my door. "I found her, I found her" I hear Megan shout urgently! I sit up in bed as Meg opens the door. I screech, "Where is she??" Her response,..... "RIGHT IN MY HAND!" I bolt out of bed and direct Meg to put Amali in her tank immediately! Megan explained that as she was getting ready that morning she just happen to see Amali on the floor in the living room... did a double take and went for her. I am SO happy words can't describe... So thank you Meg for saving my sanity!!!! Amali has returned and seems to be happy, healthy and a little scared of human interaction. She is doing well so far and was eager to eat and drink! She spent about 4 days roaming our house and noone but Ms. Amali knows where her travels took her. I'm just glad she came home. :)
12.11.2008
Gecko on the Loose
This evening was a typical winter evening.... Light snow flurries, slow rush hour traffic, sledding with kids, hot cocoa and hot chocolate chip cookies, straight from the oven. Besides a crack or two from sledding down the hills and singe from hot cocoa and cookies, pain wasn't part of the evening. I fed Amali (for those of you who don't know, she is my beloved leopard gecko as I'm allergic to furry animals) and took her out of the cage to have some human interaction. She was passed around as usual from person to person crawling about. Time passed and noone had brought her back to me (which happens after about 20min or so) and so I inquired about the location of my beloved pet. Well, that was unknown and the last sight of her was her tail disappearing under the couch. We searched the room and the vents... Still no gecko. Believe it or not, I'm actually kind of hurt. Odd for this cold hearted woman, who typically has no emotion or regard for unhuman life. So, I'm still on the look out for a crawling Amali and hopefully she'll come home, dragging her tail behind her... looking for mealworms. If she doesn't, this mommy doesn't know what she'll do. :(
11.28.2008
Maybe & Maybe Not
I care too much
And sometimes not at all.
I love too often
And then hate it all.
A walking contradiction I am,
In this little room of mine.
So, come join me
And we’ll have a good time.
And sometimes not at all.
I love too often
And then hate it all.
A walking contradiction I am,
In this little room of mine.
So, come join me
And we’ll have a good time.
11.18.2008
Old writing... when love was in the... water?
Here are two things I wrote when I was blinded... by lies. But, I thought they were pretty entertaining. It's been over a year since I looked at this stuff. Guess time does heal. Cheers.
THIS ONE KINDA SOUNDS LIKE A SONG. :)
I'm thinkin, my place at noon
With the windows open and the breeze blowin through,
Cuddle up so close I can hear your heart beat.
So tell me honey, where are we gonna meet?
On the street corner with a table for two?
Or at the beach and walk beside the ocean blue?
I wanna see you babe,
I'm missin you like crazy.....
Let's meet up babe,
And hang out and just be lazy.
THIS ONE IS QUITE A STATEMENT PROBABLY NEVER TO BE SAID AGAIN. :)
I miss you.
I want you for foreverand forever isn't enough
To hold you tight everyday
For the rest of my life
Is only a privilege and won't be tough.
I miss you like no other
And can't believe it's true
That I've found somebody
That loves me as much as I love you.
THIS ONE KINDA SOUNDS LIKE A SONG. :)
I'm thinkin, my place at noon
With the windows open and the breeze blowin through,
Cuddle up so close I can hear your heart beat.
So tell me honey, where are we gonna meet?
On the street corner with a table for two?
Or at the beach and walk beside the ocean blue?
I wanna see you babe,
I'm missin you like crazy.....
Let's meet up babe,
And hang out and just be lazy.
THIS ONE IS QUITE A STATEMENT PROBABLY NEVER TO BE SAID AGAIN. :)
I miss you.
I want you for foreverand forever isn't enough
To hold you tight everyday
For the rest of my life
Is only a privilege and won't be tough.
I miss you like no other
And can't believe it's true
That I've found somebody
That loves me as much as I love you.
11.11.2008
The parents (and Jody) visit MN
Mum, Pops and Jody came up for a nice snowy weekend! Jody's new bf, Tom came down and got to know the family a little more too! We took Pops to the Mall of America (his new favorite place) and they all came to see my house. Fun times... :)
10.27.2008
Inspiration from the first sleet/snow
I stood on the street
Waiting in the rain,
Knowing he wasn’t coming,
The earth grew cold again.
I waited patiently,
A smile upon my face
Each minute ticking by
My heart grew colder than ice.
So, now I wander aimlessly
Gathering my thoughts,
Hoping he will come along
And thaw my frozen heart.
Waiting in the rain,
Knowing he wasn’t coming,
The earth grew cold again.
I waited patiently,
A smile upon my face
Each minute ticking by
My heart grew colder than ice.
So, now I wander aimlessly
Gathering my thoughts,
Hoping he will come along
And thaw my frozen heart.
10.22.2008
My New Skant
so this is what i've been working on.... Hopefully I'll be able to finish it by Thanksgiving.... I lose my ambition quite easily.. ugh.
10.09.2008
My Awful, Terrible, Very Bad Monday
So, most of you have heard about my awful, terrible, no good, very bad Monday. Here’s another version to the start of a week that I could have done without!
Monday… usually just another day, the start to yet another endless work week that always leaves one longing for the weekends. This Monday in particular, was quite poopy. The 6:30 am alarm on my phone sings Madonna & Justin Timberlake’s 4 Minutes (to save the world), ”Are you ready to go?” in my ear. I reach my phone and squeeze the side buttons to silence it… and resituate my arms and happily fall back to sleep. What woke me up an hour later, who knows? I slowly push the covers aside and grab my towel and head for the shower. So far, so good… a little late but I should be okay. Getting ready in the morning is never one of my favorite things to do and as I get older, it only seems to get worse! Finally, after much struggling with what clothes felt comfy and deciding I had best make the effort to put my contacts in, I decided I was ready to go! Now to gather the three most important things for work… my keys, my badge and my iPod. I grab my keys off the table in my room and reach in my bag for my badge. After emptying my bag a few times, checking my car and turning my already disastrous room upside down, I still couldn’t find my badge (or iPod). [Just as a side note, I cannot even enter the parking garage or building without my badge.] After driving half way to work being aggravated and grouchy, I slip my hand into the top side pocket and find… MY BADGE. Oh yes, you can image how dumb and annoyed I felt then. But, still no iPod.
I make it into work late, but I have my badge. Walking through the sky bridge and down the halls and riding the elevator to the 5th floor, my right contact is blurry. If you know me, then you know I spend half my life with my fingers in my eyes trying to retrieve whatever is making them itchy, blurry or agitated. So, with many attempts to make my vision clear, I didn’t get anywhere. I tried to work but every time I blinked it got worse! So, I took my contact out to try and clean it. I took a deep breath, (more of a huff at this point), and looked at my contact and it is half gone!!!!!!!! No, I didn’t lose it in my eye and it didn’t break in my eye. But, there I sat at my desk with a broken contact and no iPod!!! I quite didn’t know how to take it as my gas permeable lenses that I’ve had since my junior year in High School were supposed to last a lifetime. Also, they are about $200 a lens to replace. I worked for an hour or so with one eye (squeezing my eye shut at people in the hall to make sure I knew who they were). It was quite awkward and uncomfortable! I was given permission to go home and get my glasses. So, I drove the 3.5 miles home and made the switch and turned my room upside down one more time to search for my iPod. No luck. On my ride back to work I received a text from the girl I work with that we were swamped and I had better hurry back! This only irked me and made me want to drag my heels… Shame on me… I know. So, I get back and head over to Val’s desk only to find out that there has been a macro problem and some 40+ files needed to have the tax form that I take care of pulled and requested from the IRS. Mind you, that doesn’t include the 30+ requests that are already coming in along with my other duties at work. I want to leave, escape from the chaos… But, the day has already sucked so it can’t get any worse right?? WRONG.
I took my snotty, hacking, grouchy self home and decided to finish some laundry I had started the night before. I grabbed some supper and tried to forget about the dumb day. I was still bothered by my missing iPod and discouraged by my filthy room. I turned on some music and started digging through the mess. I was able to get all my summer shoes into one plastic tub and make it so I could actually close my bedroom door! Success at last!! Then, my sister Shelley called and brightened my day as well!! I really thought my day was looking up until I went down to get my laundry out of the dryer and I found…. My iPod and headphones at the bottom of the dryer. Ew. I was so disgusted. I stomped upstairs and fiddled and messed and still couldn’t get it to work. The headphones on the other hand are working wonderfully as I type!
Then, Amali was being so weird and wouldn’t let me hold her. She was stalking herself in the glass and being quite entertaining. While attempting to take a picture of her standing almost upright against the glass I see something out of the corner of my eye streak across the hall. I mentioned something to Emery that I thought I saw something and as the words are leaving my mouth, I look down the hall again to see a mouse race towards Karissa’s room!! I yell, “There’s a mouse in here!!” Emery responds by grabbing a shoe and heading my direction. While this is happening the mouse has turned around and is heading into the living room. By the time I get the light on I have lost sight of it. But, Emery spots it heading under her bed in the far corner of the living room! She heads in that direction and it comes right at her and she puts on a show for me hopping and screaming, hoping and praying the mouse doesn’t run up her leg! After giggle fits and wiping away our tears, we then witness the nasty little mouse run back into its hole in the kitchen. Dumb mice.
That brings my terrible, no good, very bad Monday to an end. I haven’t had an awful day like that in a while and the rest of the days this week have followed suit. Thanks for tuning in and here’s for a better week!!
Monday… usually just another day, the start to yet another endless work week that always leaves one longing for the weekends. This Monday in particular, was quite poopy. The 6:30 am alarm on my phone sings Madonna & Justin Timberlake’s 4 Minutes (to save the world), ”Are you ready to go?” in my ear. I reach my phone and squeeze the side buttons to silence it… and resituate my arms and happily fall back to sleep. What woke me up an hour later, who knows? I slowly push the covers aside and grab my towel and head for the shower. So far, so good… a little late but I should be okay. Getting ready in the morning is never one of my favorite things to do and as I get older, it only seems to get worse! Finally, after much struggling with what clothes felt comfy and deciding I had best make the effort to put my contacts in, I decided I was ready to go! Now to gather the three most important things for work… my keys, my badge and my iPod. I grab my keys off the table in my room and reach in my bag for my badge. After emptying my bag a few times, checking my car and turning my already disastrous room upside down, I still couldn’t find my badge (or iPod). [Just as a side note, I cannot even enter the parking garage or building without my badge.] After driving half way to work being aggravated and grouchy, I slip my hand into the top side pocket and find… MY BADGE. Oh yes, you can image how dumb and annoyed I felt then. But, still no iPod.
I make it into work late, but I have my badge. Walking through the sky bridge and down the halls and riding the elevator to the 5th floor, my right contact is blurry. If you know me, then you know I spend half my life with my fingers in my eyes trying to retrieve whatever is making them itchy, blurry or agitated. So, with many attempts to make my vision clear, I didn’t get anywhere. I tried to work but every time I blinked it got worse! So, I took my contact out to try and clean it. I took a deep breath, (more of a huff at this point), and looked at my contact and it is half gone!!!!!!!! No, I didn’t lose it in my eye and it didn’t break in my eye. But, there I sat at my desk with a broken contact and no iPod!!! I quite didn’t know how to take it as my gas permeable lenses that I’ve had since my junior year in High School were supposed to last a lifetime. Also, they are about $200 a lens to replace. I worked for an hour or so with one eye (squeezing my eye shut at people in the hall to make sure I knew who they were). It was quite awkward and uncomfortable! I was given permission to go home and get my glasses. So, I drove the 3.5 miles home and made the switch and turned my room upside down one more time to search for my iPod. No luck. On my ride back to work I received a text from the girl I work with that we were swamped and I had better hurry back! This only irked me and made me want to drag my heels… Shame on me… I know. So, I get back and head over to Val’s desk only to find out that there has been a macro problem and some 40+ files needed to have the tax form that I take care of pulled and requested from the IRS. Mind you, that doesn’t include the 30+ requests that are already coming in along with my other duties at work. I want to leave, escape from the chaos… But, the day has already sucked so it can’t get any worse right?? WRONG.
I took my snotty, hacking, grouchy self home and decided to finish some laundry I had started the night before. I grabbed some supper and tried to forget about the dumb day. I was still bothered by my missing iPod and discouraged by my filthy room. I turned on some music and started digging through the mess. I was able to get all my summer shoes into one plastic tub and make it so I could actually close my bedroom door! Success at last!! Then, my sister Shelley called and brightened my day as well!! I really thought my day was looking up until I went down to get my laundry out of the dryer and I found…. My iPod and headphones at the bottom of the dryer. Ew. I was so disgusted. I stomped upstairs and fiddled and messed and still couldn’t get it to work. The headphones on the other hand are working wonderfully as I type!
Then, Amali was being so weird and wouldn’t let me hold her. She was stalking herself in the glass and being quite entertaining. While attempting to take a picture of her standing almost upright against the glass I see something out of the corner of my eye streak across the hall. I mentioned something to Emery that I thought I saw something and as the words are leaving my mouth, I look down the hall again to see a mouse race towards Karissa’s room!! I yell, “There’s a mouse in here!!” Emery responds by grabbing a shoe and heading my direction. While this is happening the mouse has turned around and is heading into the living room. By the time I get the light on I have lost sight of it. But, Emery spots it heading under her bed in the far corner of the living room! She heads in that direction and it comes right at her and she puts on a show for me hopping and screaming, hoping and praying the mouse doesn’t run up her leg! After giggle fits and wiping away our tears, we then witness the nasty little mouse run back into its hole in the kitchen. Dumb mice.
That brings my terrible, no good, very bad Monday to an end. I haven’t had an awful day like that in a while and the rest of the days this week have followed suit. Thanks for tuning in and here’s for a better week!!
10.01.2008
Eyes
Eyes can’t hide what you’re feeling deep inside,
They will let out all your secrets,
Even the feelings you’ve denied.
Eyes will show if you’re blue or just happy with your new shoes.
Eyes will reveal what you’re hiding, if you don’t feel like confiding.
Eyes will call you out on anger, rage, hate and fear and love.
So if you want to hide your feelings then avoid me with your eyes
Because looking at me with your eyes will leave no surprise.
9.22.2008
9.17.2008
9.16.2008
Leaving it Behind
I’m sorry I couldn’t handle it,
I’m sorry I don’t like lies.
I’m sorry you couldn’t see it, before you made me cry.
If you could take back all those things you said,
It wouldn’t change a thing.
For a short while, you did make my heart sing.
Then you said more words that only covered up the truth,
Confirming my opinion of your way with girls…
Uncouth.
So take your filthy lies and cover your silly face,
And I’ll go on with what’s left of my dignity,
Walking forward with grace.
I’m sorry I don’t like lies.
I’m sorry you couldn’t see it, before you made me cry.
If you could take back all those things you said,
It wouldn’t change a thing.
For a short while, you did make my heart sing.
Then you said more words that only covered up the truth,
Confirming my opinion of your way with girls…
Uncouth.
So take your filthy lies and cover your silly face,
And I’ll go on with what’s left of my dignity,
Walking forward with grace.
9.10.2008
Wishing & Hoping & Planning & Dreaming
So I’ve been told some news… good or bad for me I have yet to determine. Hoping, wishing and praying that it is good; I sit here and ponder…. If it is bad, I will have to change my lifestyle more than I already have and learn to deal with what is. If it be good, I will be able to gain some needed material things that would only make my life easier. So, here I am: fingers, toes, eyes (when able), legs, arms and hairs crossed…. Curled up in a fetal position, praying this will all turn out okay.
9.06.2008
Giggle Fits
So just have to share:
I was walking down the hall at work today (carrying on with my job as usual) and I was stopped by a guy from correspondent. He asks, "Did you grow up on a farm?" I was like, "What?!?!" I was flattered, yet in the same breath super confused!! Why on earth would he think that I grew up on a farm?? As you all well know, I don't dress like a farmer or talk like one.... So I asked... The response? "Well, you carry a lot of files and most of the girls around here only carry four and act like they are going to die.... or they cart around one!" I laughed... Coming from a family of girls has only made each of us have a "get down & dirty" and "git r done" side! So thanks to Mum & Pops for raising us right! ;)
Secondly.... Some of you know that my driver's side window in my van is stuck open... Recently, the conversation about my window has moved to the "what if you were attacked" level. Even if I was, it wouldn't do me any good to run to my van! So, as I'm leaving work today, I walked out with a coworker, Jeff. He thought he had parked his truck on the 3rd level and took the stairs, while I walked out to my van on the 2nd level. I get in the van and get settled with my back to my door. Then, someone grabbed my arm and said, "HEY!!" Needless to say, I about piddled my pants and had a coronary while letting out a quite girlish screech!! I turned and pulled away and saw Jeff bent over laughing... He stupidly forgot which floor he was parked on and ended up parking a few cars away from me. He also knew about my window and saw the perfect opportunity. While it could be scary, it is also quite funny!!
This concludes my giggle fits for today!
I was walking down the hall at work today (carrying on with my job as usual) and I was stopped by a guy from correspondent. He asks, "Did you grow up on a farm?" I was like, "What?!?!" I was flattered, yet in the same breath super confused!! Why on earth would he think that I grew up on a farm?? As you all well know, I don't dress like a farmer or talk like one.... So I asked... The response? "Well, you carry a lot of files and most of the girls around here only carry four and act like they are going to die.... or they cart around one!" I laughed... Coming from a family of girls has only made each of us have a "get down & dirty" and "git r done" side! So thanks to Mum & Pops for raising us right! ;)
Secondly.... Some of you know that my driver's side window in my van is stuck open... Recently, the conversation about my window has moved to the "what if you were attacked" level. Even if I was, it wouldn't do me any good to run to my van! So, as I'm leaving work today, I walked out with a coworker, Jeff. He thought he had parked his truck on the 3rd level and took the stairs, while I walked out to my van on the 2nd level. I get in the van and get settled with my back to my door. Then, someone grabbed my arm and said, "HEY!!" Needless to say, I about piddled my pants and had a coronary while letting out a quite girlish screech!! I turned and pulled away and saw Jeff bent over laughing... He stupidly forgot which floor he was parked on and ended up parking a few cars away from me. He also knew about my window and saw the perfect opportunity. While it could be scary, it is also quite funny!!
This concludes my giggle fits for today!
9.03.2008
Warm Fuzzy Day
So today my boss asked me what my deal was... I responded with a "Huh?". He said... "You have changed!" At this point I got a little nervous. I said "What?". He replied with, "You are just happy all the time... It's a good change!"
I've been thinking the rest of the afternoon what or when or why or how this change took place. I have come to the conclusion that whoever sent me the email on Ducks vs. Eagles deserves a big hug and a gold star. I have not been able to forget it.... and yes, I will admit it has changed my thinking....
The email goes something like this: ducks sit around and quack and quack and complain while eagles soar above the crowd. #1... Ducks are not my favorite animal. The only way I like them are stuffed on the wall... and even then, they collect dust and make me sneeze. In short... I just don't like them. #2... After reading that email and realizing I was becoming or already was a duck, really made me like ducks even LESS!! #3... I do not want to be a duck or anything like a duck.
So, my conclusion is that this email has helped me change my outlook on life in general. One big thanks to whoever that may have been!
I've been thinking the rest of the afternoon what or when or why or how this change took place. I have come to the conclusion that whoever sent me the email on Ducks vs. Eagles deserves a big hug and a gold star. I have not been able to forget it.... and yes, I will admit it has changed my thinking....
The email goes something like this: ducks sit around and quack and quack and complain while eagles soar above the crowd. #1... Ducks are not my favorite animal. The only way I like them are stuffed on the wall... and even then, they collect dust and make me sneeze. In short... I just don't like them. #2... After reading that email and realizing I was becoming or already was a duck, really made me like ducks even LESS!! #3... I do not want to be a duck or anything like a duck.
So, my conclusion is that this email has helped me change my outlook on life in general. One big thanks to whoever that may have been!
9.01.2008
My Birthday!
So I guess I live around some pretty cool people... My sister surprised me with a cake the Friday before my birthday (to which I was sorely against). Then on my birthday, Joanne took me to the art garden downtown (and Karissa came too) and we finished off the evening by meeting the boys for dinner at Figlios & onto Zenos for dessert! Here are a few photos.....
8.22.2008
Can't stop singing this song....
Boys Like Girls
Lyrics to Heels Over Head :
I got your runaway smile in my piggybank baby
Gonna cash it right in for a new Mercedes
You were worth the hundred thousand miles
But you couldn't stay awhile
I got your little brown shirt in my bottom drawer baby
And your little white socks in the top drawer
You were always leaving your shit around
And gone without a sound
Yeah I'm the first to fall and the last to know
Where'd you go?
Now I'm heels over headI'm hangin' upside down
Thinking how you left me for dead
California bound
I got a first class ticket to a night all alone
And a front row seat up right by the phone
Cause you're always on my mind
And I'm running out of time
I've got your hair on my pillow and your smell in my sheets
And it makes me think about you with the sand in your feet
Is it all you thought it'd be?
You mean everything to me
But I'm the first to fall and the last to know
And where'd you go?
You're burnin' bridges babyBurnin' bridges, making wishesYeah you're burnin' bridges
Chance taker, heartbreaker
Got me wrapped around your
Maybe you'll finally see
And then you'll turn it all around and you'll come back to me
Lyrics to Heels Over Head :
I got your runaway smile in my piggybank baby
Gonna cash it right in for a new Mercedes
You were worth the hundred thousand miles
But you couldn't stay awhile
I got your little brown shirt in my bottom drawer baby
And your little white socks in the top drawer
You were always leaving your shit around
And gone without a sound
Yeah I'm the first to fall and the last to know
Where'd you go?
Now I'm heels over headI'm hangin' upside down
Thinking how you left me for dead
California bound
I got a first class ticket to a night all alone
And a front row seat up right by the phone
Cause you're always on my mind
And I'm running out of time
I've got your hair on my pillow and your smell in my sheets
And it makes me think about you with the sand in your feet
Is it all you thought it'd be?
You mean everything to me
But I'm the first to fall and the last to know
And where'd you go?
You're burnin' bridges babyBurnin' bridges, making wishesYeah you're burnin' bridges
Chance taker, heartbreaker
Got me wrapped around your
Maybe you'll finally see
And then you'll turn it all around and you'll come back to me
8.15.2008
Wandering
Wandering... through the crowded streets,
Just searching for my friend I am to meet.
I stop & scan the sidewalk & shops....
Still no sign of her.
I meander on with my eyes still searching...
Taking in every shop, stand and festival goer.
I catch a glimpse of someone and I have to look again.
It's no one I know, but he stares back at me.
With a charming & disarming curiousity he grins.
I smile & blush & start to walk away.
He calls out to me requesting my name.
I turn & wander away...
Just thinking what would have happened if I had stayed.
Just searching for my friend I am to meet.
I stop & scan the sidewalk & shops....
Still no sign of her.
I meander on with my eyes still searching...
Taking in every shop, stand and festival goer.
I catch a glimpse of someone and I have to look again.
It's no one I know, but he stares back at me.
With a charming & disarming curiousity he grins.
I smile & blush & start to walk away.
He calls out to me requesting my name.
I turn & wander away...
Just thinking what would have happened if I had stayed.
8.14.2008
Time Will Tell
Haven't updated this in a while due to the lack of internet... All is well here, work is still the same and we're moving to a small house at the end of the month... Will be relieved to be out of the apartments!! Here's a note from last month:
He confuses me, like some silly riddles and rhymes,
But being so close to him makes me want to call him mine.
He looks at me and smiles,
For him, I’d go the extra mile.
Does he know? Does he care? Does he notice when I’m not there?
Time will tell, as it is its claim to fame.
Maybe this boy won’t be so lame.
He confuses me, like some silly riddles and rhymes,
But being so close to him makes me want to call him mine.
He looks at me and smiles,
For him, I’d go the extra mile.
Does he know? Does he care? Does he notice when I’m not there?
Time will tell, as it is its claim to fame.
Maybe this boy won’t be so lame.
6.09.2008
A certain someone
There he stands, without a clue what he can do,
By just standing there looking so damn cute.
I wish I could tell him to walk away and leave me be
But, there he stands, not knowing about me.
He makes me shake from head to toe; heart rate increases, heat wave crashing down…
Boy, sometimes I wish you had an inkling how you make me stupid
Tripping over my words and feet... Wishing you would notice me.
5.26.2008
Being Thankful
It’s almost been a year since I’ve met that final person,
Since my world was turned upside down
And then he pulled the curtain.
The best thing that happened was probably what he did,
To end things so abruptly,
Knowing nothing is for certain.
I’ve learned what I am and certainly what I’m not,
Definitely what I need and clearly what I want.
So pulling pieces back together of a train wreck I thought love,
The track seems quite misleading when I look back from above.
Now taking what one learns from incidents like these,
I steer my caboose more carefully,
And stay clear of men with needs.
5.25.2008
SNEAKY GIRLS... PART 2
This is the finished product.... The deed was done... Even if we did try getting into the wrong apartment first... :)
5.13.2008
Glad Its Over Now
A special thanks to the talented musicians and song writers.... I've been inspired once again.
Sitting here waiting, as my headache begins… not knowing. That is what kills me in the end. Life proceeds in wonderment… maybe it’s just me. But, this big old world holds no mystery. Rain falling… wisdom… trying to flood our streets… Too bad it won’t reflect in the faces that I meet. The sun shines down on countless agendas, some never to be fulfilled. This world will keep on turning as I pop another pill.
5.10.2008
SNEAKY GIRLS...
Soooooo he
re we go...My roommate and I were busy one weekend.....
MORE PICTURES TO FOLLOW...... :)
5.04.2008
Just an Update
So, I must admit that I'm diggin the State of 10,000 Lakes after 3 months (and counting). My job at Wells Fargo is going really well.... the kids up here are keeping me busy and out of trouble.... and my roommate and I get along amazingly!! Things are finally looking up for me and I'm feeling comfortable in my skin again! Joanne (one of my crazy coworkers) has showed me a safe and fun place (a marsh) to run in the middle of Richfield and that has been keeping me active as well. I am slowly getting settled into the apartment (which we counted today and we have about 4 months left there!) Oops. I started this blog for my recreational purposes. Once in a while it helps me to just write my thoughts and sometimes my imagination!! So enjoy... or not. :)
4.24.2008
Notes from December
December, winter, snow, ice ….cold. So, I sit by the window watching the snow fall, lightly floating down by the millions. Snow. It is a funny thing. So pretty yet so detrimental. The snow falls and covers everything. A world so harsh and noisy and then the snow falls, blanketing the earth with white, cold quiet. Cars move quietly down the roads as if they are moving in a funeral procession: slow, cautious, thoughtful. One false move and they could skid into wreckage, but forward they proceed. Snow. It’s an awesome thing how snow can take something ugly, wretched, and repulsive and cover it, hiding all its flaws and making it beautiful. Hm…. Maybe I should head outside… see ya.
oh the big city
I wake up groggy and wishing for at least a few more hours of sleep. The breeze comes through my window lulling me back to sleep. I look at the clock. 6:05am it stares back at me. Rolling out of bed the breeze hits me and makes me shiver. I hop into the shower trying to warm up with thoughts of the day ahead wandering in the air. Voices of other residents and honking vehicles seep through the window of the shower only to make me remember where I am again. Minnesota. The big cities too… I can’t believe it some days. I make my way back to my room only to be reminded of all the things I have to do. Half an hour left. Hoping it is warm outside and not just in the apartment, I pack up a few bags and haul them to the door. When I get to the exit, I wonder if I should have grabbed a coat. Whoosh, I push open the door and I’m met with a warm rush of air that brushes over my bare shoulders making me think of the beach. I stride to the car and deposit my hauling. Walking back to the building, I close my eyes. The bustling of traffic off I494 is the closest thing I’ll get to waves washing the beach. With my eyes still closed, I hold onto the few seconds of bliss in the middle of this chaos.
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